Freedom Day

SPM is officially over for me today!!!WOOHOO!!..i can smell the freedom now!..XD

After accounts paper over, nobody in our class scream at all. Well, who cares, it's over anyway!..wow!..it's been almost a month of exams. It was like HELL to me. I still remember all the tough times that i had to go through ALONE. I couldn't sleep for many nights. It started few days before my birthday, which was early October. It lasted for a month or more. Everyday wake up as if didn't sleep at all, got headache and everything. I couldn't concentrate in my studies, wasted so much time.

Few days before SPM i was really desperate already, so i told my dad i wanna go to see a doctor to get sleeping pill. So he brought me to see doctor and he gave me pill that would calm me down, it's mild, not sleeping pill. Doctor kinda guaranteed that i would be able to sleep. So i was pretty happy about it and anticipating my beauty sleep that night. That night before i went to bed, i took the pill and i went to bed. I tossed and turned the whole night, felt so restless. I thought i would be able to sleep but the pill didn't work at all, instead i felt worse than normal. The next day when i was trying to study, my hands were shaking slightly and i felt dizzy. Those were the side effects.

So i stopped taking the pill, and tried my best to sleep. I went online to find out more about insomnia, and how to count sheep(at first i didn't know how to count, lol). I even searched for ways to hypnotize yourself(i was really desperate okay), but i thought that it's really difficult to follow the steps so i didn't bother to try it. Furthermore, i even put Kenny G kinda songs into my phone. One night, i tried to drink a warm milk, read a book, listen to slow and soothing songs, and count sheep before i sleep. Well, i tried everything i possibly could to make myself sleep but end up all didn't work at all, my mind just felt awake as ever.

Another night what i did was out of my mind. That night i did the same thing again, drank warm milk and everything else. At one point i really couldn't take it anymore, mind wasn't tired at all. Thus i watched a movie at 4am in my room. I thought after i watched the movie i would feel sleepy. So after watching the movie, my mind felt awake as before i watched the movie. The movie didn't work at all. By the way the movie that i watched was Stardust. After that i couldn't take it anymore, i complained to my sister who woke up and preparing to go to work. And i kinda burst out crying.='( So that whole night i didn't sleep at all.

I could sleep the night after Sj paper 2 ends. Till then i could sleep well already. Till 3 days before accounts couldn't sleep again and i didn't know why. Well, that's just what happened in the past. It felt as though nobody understood me. It never happened to them that't why they wouldn't know how i felt. Not many people knew about this because i only told a few people about it, and it wasn't obvious at all. It's because i didn't have any eyebags at all. I guess it's because im tan, skin colour covers my eyebags. Lol! But deep inside was like killing me!

Today went to ou again with Ikh, Allen and Hui Ying. We were supposed to watch Bolt but because the seats were full, so we watched Madagascar instead. It's not bad at all, very funny. We laughed a lot, practically laughing the loudest in the cinema.

SPM's over but i don't really feel that excited about it. I don't know why. I guess im not used to it yet, just started to get used to exam life and now back to normal. It's not easy.